Being Baby Jacob

I’m not sure who asked me: why don’t babies remember this time in their lives? He or she was referring to this newborn/infant stage that Jacob is in right now. Before I answer the question I want to make a note about why I don’t recall who asked me. My memory and my brain power are fairly weak these days. Jennifer Buckley, a good friend of mine, used to speak of pregnancy brain, which meant she had a terrible memory. But I find it much worse postpartum. There are times when I truly forget something and I find that quite embarrassing at times. I also feel like my brain isn’t as strong as it used to be. I base it mainly on my ability to read right now. I have been trying to get through this simple novel A Million Little Pieces since Jacob’s birth. It shouldn’t take that long at all. If I didn’t feel committed to the book I would abandon it and try another at this point. But I am going to finish it at some point. It’s true though that my windows for reading and writing are slim. Most important is raising baby Jacob. I find that I would rather write than read these days. I have been writing lots of letters to faraway friends.

Back to the question: why don’t babies remember this time in their lives? There’s definitely some medical reason that I don’t know so I have my own answer.

It’s too good.

That’s the answer; this time in their life is too good. Baby Jacob is taken care of exclusively. There isn’t one thing he has to do for himself. He is fed. His diaper is changed regularly. He sleeps whenever he wants and wherever he wants. He is given a regular bath. Books are read to him. Love is showered on him generously.
Who wouldn’t want everything done for him or her? I think back to my time in India when I was driven everywhere, had all meals cooked for me, all dishes cleaned and my apartment was always spotless. I had so much leisure time for reading and hanging out. I miss that time in my life.
In the moments that baby Jacob sleeps I wanted to finish up this blog post. I wanted one post in March and this is the last day. And to consider why it’s so good to be baby Jacob is a wonderful idea. Another amazing concept about why baby Jacob won’t remember this time includes his ability to be completely present. Whatever is making him smile at that moment is all that matters. He isn’t feeling guilt about not calling someone or thinking about how much money he has to spend this week. Those things are for his mother. I am enamored with my son. Everything he does is adorable. Sometimes I just can’t take it how cute he is. Beyond his cuteness and lovability is his placid disposition. Jacob really takes in his surroundings without complaint. Yesterday he was held by innumerable people at Audrey’s birthday party. He just adjusted to each person and enjoyed every minute of it. What a life! I am amazed at how much love I have for him. Both Bart and I are filled with so much love for our son. I guess that’s what happens when your whole life changes because a baby enters your world.

Music: "Supposed to Be" by Jack Johnson from "Sing-A-Longs & Lullabies For The Film Curious George"